PERDITA HELEN Jones - a sister for Octavia and Iolanthe

You can almost see the thought processes of the parents as they strive for names which make up for having to give their kids the second most common surname around, but then run out so number 3 ends up being named after one of the dogs in 101 Dalmations. She's lucky she got in after the politically correct mob, otherwise she'd be called Missus.

CASHEL MAISIE McKnight-Syman

'Cashel' is a kind of blue cheese, although this little one may find her name shortened to 'Cash'. Basically, her parents have condemned her to a life of being thought of as smelly and/or a hooker.

EDWARD ALEXANDER SINCLAIR DE CUSANCE Cussans

How many names does one child need?

SERAPHINA ROSE Manners

Almost certainly the child of two old goths, who ought to know that seraphs are just cherubs with a superiority complex.

TAW MONTAGUE LANGSTAFF Ainslie

A lifetime of hearing the words "Your name's WHAT?" beckons for little Taw.

JOLYON IVAN Malin

Jolyon's parents overcompensate for being called 'merely' Lisa and Peter.

CRESSIDA MAY Duncan - a sister for Amity and Ivo

I feel slightly mean putting this up, as it actually looks like Cressida got off lightly compared to her brother and sister.

SAM BARLEY SHANE Chichester-Clark

The only excuse for naming your child Barley is that they were concieved in a field of the stuff...

CLEA ALICE MONTANA Thorowgood - a sister for Tazeena and Aleksei

What makes this one even better is that the mother is called Azelle, which is clearly a case of 'I have to go though life with a dumb name, so you have to, too'

IO VELVET PHOEBE AURORA Kennaugh

Leaving everything else aside, isn't Io (a) the name of a God in the Terry Pratchett books and (b) a BOY'S name?

ELVIS SOMERSET Abraham - a brother for Echo Maud

CLOVER CECILY MAY Bayntun-Coward

HOPE FRANCES SUGAR PIE Heward-Mills

OPHELIA PLUM MARY Taggart