WILHELMINA ROSAMUND VENITIA De Blocq Van Kuffeler

OK, I accept that 'Jane' probably wasn't an option here. There are at least three drawbacks to this name, though:

1. How the hell are you going to yell it at her when she's misbehaving? She'll be an adult before you finish;

2. Good luck teaching her to write it;

3. It is the most hideous thing I have heard since I mistakenly taped myself singing