Thursday, December 29, 2005

EMILY ELOISE KITTEN Langlands

How stupid is she going to feel when she is all grown up, yet still has to tell people you called her something as sickeningly cutesy as 'Kitten', eh?

RAFFERTY MICHAEL PERIGRINE Yorke

There's something very Val Doonican about the name Rafferty, which means that there is a real risk that Mr and Mrs Yorke's son will grow up to be a dull as ditchwater cardigan wearer.

GRETA FLORENCE HAZELAND Gibson

I hope that this girl is stunningly attractive when she grows up - saddled with names like this she needs all the help nature can give her.

AVELYN DARCEY Pye

Poor little Miss Pye, she's starting out in life with parents who cannot spell either 'Evelyn' or 'D'Arcy'.

HANOVER AUGUSTA CAROLINE Rowden - a sister for HADRIAN, BLAEC, BRITTANY and DONNCHADH

What beats me is how something so utterly chav-like as Brittany got into this parade of pretentious twattery. The parents, needless to say, are simply called Jennifer and Kim.

WILLIAM BENJAMIN JOSEPH Sedgwick - a playmate for Bracken and Bramble and a foursomes partner for both parents

Please, please, please tell me that Bracken and Bramble are dogs. Although allowing your newborn son to be a dog's 'playmate' is probably not a good thing. And he'll be bog all use as a foursomes partner right now.