TALLULAH FAY WAIMATHA Smith

Oh good grief...

SAGE JENIFER Bidwell - a sister for LILI and WILLOW

Leaving aside the rampant dyslexia (believe me, the middle name really IS spelled like that) why on earth are the Bidwell's naming their kids after stuff that grows in the garden? What next, Nettle? Thistle? Dogweed? I'd better stop, I might just be giving them ideas...

SUMMER SKYE CARLY Hardy - a sister for SAM, LUDO and NICO

Conceived whilst the couple were watching Neighbours. Which is better than trying to follow the plot line, but no excuse for giving your children such crass, hippy trippy names.

MIKI PARISA MACALPINE Budd

Erm, are we just making names up now? Actually, to be fair, 'Parisa' does sound like the model of the car she was conceived in, perhaps on a McAlpine building site? Or am I just taking the Miki?