MARINA RAPHAELA ATHENA Clarke

I actually don't know where to begin with this one. It's just such an unspeakably hideous combination of names, from the echoes of Stingray in the first name, through the 'clever, clever' bit of the last letter always being an 'a', through to the clunking surname at the end. The worst thing of all, though, is that writing all that has given me a brief, scary, insight into what it must be like to be Brian Sewell. Now I feel dirty. I need a bath and a lie down.